existential birthday cat

DAY 752 – My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. 

DAY 761 – Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair… must try this on their bed. 

DAY 762 – Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night. 

DAY 765 – Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was… Hmmm. Not working according to plan … 

ticklish hamsterIf your a cute animal video afficionado, you’ve by now seen the ticklish camel video, which was way awesome and infinitely viewable. Well, after scouring the internet for days upon days, we have come up upon its rodent cousin equivalent, the Ticklish Hamster Video!

inception animalsHere’s a pretty damn funny video of the most dramatic animals on the internet set to the background music of Inception. If this isn’t funny to you, you must have no soul and should be quickly burned with FIRE!!!!

cat paper jamYou think you’re the only one in the office that sufferes from the dreaded paper jam when your boss is asking for the weekly TPS reports? Think again…cats suffer just as much as we do when that lone piece of paper comes out crooked and then gets sucked back in and twirls the machine.

PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean?!

sex kittenYes Folks, this is another cat video. I had to appease the power that be that is the entire internet and offer up my daily video showing my allegiance to those 4 legged furballs or else I would have been excommunicated from the internet.

It’s a damn funny 5 second clip showing that cats are not only awesome but sexually agressive as well. Props to the folks over at 5SecondFilms for coming up with funny ass shit on a daily basis.

lassie were a catIt might come to a surprise to all of you to find out that I’m a dog person to the bone. I only post all these cat videos to appease the other 99% of the internet who seem to be cat people. Anyways here’s a very telling video of what it would be like if Lassie were a cat instead of a dog. Expect a lot of dead people.

wheelchair cat trust fund kittyDon’t even try to take this clip seriously. It’s probably the most ridiculous thing you’ll see all week and perhaps all month but you laugh you ass off if you give it a chance. It’s from Nick Swardson’s new show on Comedy Central “Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time” which will debut in October…can’t wait.

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