1. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
2. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
3. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
4. When it’s in your best interest, practice obedience.
5. Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.
6. Take naps and stretch before rising.
7. Run, romp, and play daily.
8. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
9. On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
10. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
11. When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
12. No matter how often you’re scolded, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout… run right back and make friends.
13. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
14. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
15. Stop when you have had enough.
16. Be loyal.
17. Never pretend to be something you’re not.
18. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
19. And MOST of all… When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close byand nuzzle them gently.
1. When a true cat lover sleeps, he hardly makes any movements, let alone moving his toes.
2. If you put a heavy thing on a sleeping cat lover, he will try to keep it there undisturbed all the night.
3. A dead mouse touches the heart of a true cat lover; a dead rat draws his admiration.
4. You may think that he’s got a cold – every time a true cat lover enters a room, he closes any doors and windows.
5. If you want to show that you’re madly jealous because of a true cat lover, just pee in his boots. He won’t understand you otherwise.
6. In company, he always ends up talking about cats. Even if he promised to give up doing so.
7. A true cat lover never throws away candy wrappers – he rolls them into a ball and throws down on the floor.
8. A true cat lover chooses clothes by the two main criteria:
a. cat fur doesn’t stick to it (or it is invisible on it and easily removed.;
b. it is difficult for the cat to get a claw hooked in the fabric.
9. A true cat lover never slams the door. He always closes it carefully or even leaves a cat-size slit.
10. A true cat lover always knows which of his cats is digging the litter box at the moment.
11. A true cat lover never leaves food on the table but always puts it in the fridge.
12. A true cat lover never leaves a glass with water near the keyboard.
13. Prior to buying a new home plant, a true cat lover will always find out whether this plant is toxic for cats.
14. A true cat lover always smells every little amount of spilt water.
15. When a cat climbs on a true cat lover’s lap, he will never utter a sound even if the cat didn’t hide the claws. Because the kitty may get scared and never climb on his lap again.
16. A true cat lover always knows what cat food tastes like.
17. The hands of a true cat lover are always covered with scratches.
18. When a true cat lover sees a cat in the street, he is full of emotions as if he sees this animal for the very first time.
19. In a typical family, children are told, “Wash your hands after patting the cat!” In a cat-addicted family, children are told, “Wash your hands before patting the cat!”
20. A true cat lover is skilled in typing and using the mouse with one hand. The second one is reserved for patting the cat.
21. A true cat lover knows that the name “mouse pad” is absolutely theoretical. Practically, it is a “cat pad”.
22. If a true cat lover steps on something soft, he always pulls his leg up nervously and checks whether he has harmed someone.
Law of Cat Inertia: A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
Law of Cat Motion: A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
Law of Cat Magnetism: All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
Law of Cat Thermodynamics: Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
Law of Cat Stretching: A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
Law of Cat Sleeping: All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.
Law of Cat Elongation: A cat can make his body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.
Law of Cat Acceleration: A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.
Law of Dinner Table Attendance: Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
Law of Rug Configuration: No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.
Law of Obedience Resistance: A cat’s resistance varies in proportion to a human’s desire for him to do something.
First Law of Energy Conservation: Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
Second Law of Energy Conservation: Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.
Law of Refrigerator Observation: If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.
Law of Electric Blanket Attraction: Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.
Law of Random Comfort Seeking: A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.
Law of Bag/Box Occupancy: All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
Law of Cat Embarrassment: A cat’s irritation rises in direct proportion to his embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
Law of Milk Consumption: A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.
Law of Furniture Replacement: A cat’s desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
Law of Cat Landing: A cat will always land in the softest place possible.
Law of Fluid Displacement: A cat immersed in milk will displace his own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.
Law of Cat Disinterest: A cat’s interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
Law of Pill Rejection: Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
Law of Cat Composition: A cat is composed of Matter + Antimatter + It Doesn’t Matter.
You are a true dog lover if…
Your dog sleeps in your bed. You apologize if you have to move it a bit.
Talking to your dog, you call yourself Daddy or Mommy.
Nothing can be seen through the rear window of your car because it’s all in noseprints of your dog.
You call your dog with 32 different names and none of them makes sense. But your dog responds to them.
You like people that like your dog. You despite people that don’t like it.
In your pocket, there’s always a treat for your dog.
You always put a second cover on your bed so that you dog feels most comfortable.
You choose furniture, carpet, and clothes so that they suit your dog.
The only photo on your work desk is a photo of your dog.
You read people lectures about how responsible one should be raising up a dog. You do that any time you get a chance.
You miss your breakfast to have a chance to walk with your dog before going to job.
You are the only man in the street when it is raining cats and dogs – it’s all because your dog needs walking.
In the end of the day, you don’t drink beer with your co-workers anymore because you have to rush to your dog.
Your weekend plan is to walk with your dog (for both Saturday and Sunday).
Your fridge is full of bones for your dog.
You’ve never eaten all of your beefsteak or fried chicken – you share it with your dog.
You don’t hoover your flat as long as possible because your dog is afraid of the hoover.
You keep on eating even if you’ve found some dog hair in your plate.
When your dog gets older, you make some steps for it to ease climbing on to bed.
When your husband and your dogs snore, it’s your husband who grabs the pillow to sleep somewhere else.
Your dog is the star of your website!
Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.
I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.
As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.
The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker’s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.
The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, “I know why.”
Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. He said, “People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life – like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?”
The six-year-old continued, “Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”
1. My life is likely to last ten to fifteen years. Any separation from you will be painful for me. Remember that before you acquire me.
2. Give me time to understand what you want from me.
3. Place your trust in me. Remember that before you acquire me.
4. Don’t be angry with me for long and don’t lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, and your entertainment. I only have you.
5. Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don’t understand your words, I understand your voice when it is speaking to me. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget.
6. Remember before you hit me that I have teeth that can easily crush the bones in your hand, but I choose not to bite you.
7. Before you scold me for being uncooperative, obstinate, or lazy, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I don’t understand what you ask of me or perhaps I am not feeling well, not getting the right food, been out in the sun too long, or my heart is getting old and weak.
8. Take care of me when I get old, you too will grow old.
9. Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say " I can’t bear to watch," or "let it happen in my absence." Everything is easier if you are there.
10. Remember, no matter what, that I love you. Unconditionally.
1. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
2. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
3. Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.
4. Run, romp, and play daily.
5. Avoid biting, when a simple growl will do.
6. On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
7. When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
8. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
9. Never pretend to be something you’re not.
10. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
11. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
From time to time, people tell me, “lighten up, it’s just a
dog,” or, “that’s a lot of money for just a dog.” They don’t
understand the distance traveled, the time spent,
or the costs involved for “just a dog.”
Some of my proudest moments have come about with
“just a dog.” Many hours have passed and my only
company was “just a dog,” but I did not once feel slighted.
Some of my saddest moments have been brought about
by “just a dog,” and in those days of darkness,
the gentle touch of “just a dog” gave me comfort
and reason to overcome the day.
If you, too, think it’s “just a dog,” then you will probably
won’t understand phrases like “just a friend,” “just a sunrise,”
or “just a promise.”
“Just a dog” brings into my life the very essence of
friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy.
“Just a dog” brings out the compassion and patience
that makes me a better person.
Because of “just a dog”, I will rise early, take
long walks and look longingly to the future. So for me
and folks like me, it’s not “just a dog” but an embodiment
of all the hopes and dreams of the future, the fond
memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment.
“Just a dog” brings out what’s good in me and diverts my
thoughts away from myself and the worries of the day.
I hope that someday they can understand that it’s
not “just a dog”, but the thing that gives me humanity and
keeps me from being “just a man or woman.”
So the next time you hear the phrase “just a dog”,
just smile — because they “just don’t understand.”
– Author Unknown
I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.
I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be
Today I sniffed
Many dog butts-I celebrate
By kissing your face.
I sound the alarm!
Mailman Fiend-come to kill us all-
Look! Look! Look! Look!
I sound the alarm!
Neighbor’s cat-come to kill us all!
Look! Look! Look! Look!
My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle
I hate my choke chain –
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack!
Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot – no greater bliss – well,
Maybe catching cats
The cat is not all
Bad-she fills the little box
With Tootsie Rolls
Dig under fence-why
Because it’s there. Because it’s
There. Because it’s there.
I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.
My owners’ mood is
Romantic-I lie near their feet.
I fart a big one.
You never feed me.
Perhaps I’ll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.
You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail!
Behold, elevator butt.
The rule for today:
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.
In deep sleep hear sound
cat vomit hairball somewhere
will find in morning.
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.
Blur of motion, then —
silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?
The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds —
your foot just squashed one.
You’re always typing.
Well, let’s see you ignore my
sitting on your hands.
My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
can just hide my head.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What’s a ‘term paper?’
Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes,
Fear vacuum cleaner
I want to be close
to you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?
Wanna go outside.
Oh, poop! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!
Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!
Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams;
My claws are not that sharp.